Surviving Each Day as a Parent with ADHD
Living with ADHD can be challenging when it comes to managing school or work, friendships, your home, or your time.
Maybe you’ve been diagnosed and have sought treatment to help, or perhaps you suspect you have ADHD because you faced some challenges but found your own strategies to overcome them. As a person with ADHD, I felt I developed some routines and systems that worked for me, and they even worked after I became a mom. However, I found that adding a second child to my family threw everything into chaos, and I had to look at overhauling a lot of what I had in place. I could share what works for me, but those same things wouldn’t work for everyone. As a therapist, I work with parents who have ADHD to help them find their own systems. Over time, I’ve come to see some general patterns in approaching parenting as an ADHDer:
Having a calendar/planner/system for the family to view plans.
This can be a tricky strategy, as there are so many paper and app versions, and ADHD can make it difficult to remember to check a calendar in the first place. Sometimes it is trial-and-error to see what works best, and what is best is whatever you can stick with regularly. I know some people advocate for one place you put all your obligations, and I appreciate the simplicity of that, but I like to have a paper planner along with a calendar app that I share with my family. I encourage everyone to use technology in whatever way helps, and not to feel ashamed to set multiple alarm reminders throughout the day as needed!
Leave room for flexibility in your schedule.
Everyone has a different comfort level with the idea of a schedule or routine, but in general it’s helpful for everyone in the family to have a sense of what to expect for the day (or week or month) ahead. While there are some hard start and stop times dictated by school, work, appointments, etc., your routine can include generally doing things in the same order each day with some room to adjust. Built-in flexibility also gives freedom to have “off” days- those days you’re extra tired, feel mentally scattered, or strong emotions are coming up. Let’s call it: kids and parents both have these days and let’s normalize it by planning for such times.
Adjust expectations of yourself.
Being flexible with your time is a part of adapting to new ways of being, but adjusting your mindset also helps you to be productive. ADHD brains can be sensitive to feelings of failure. Putting more tasks on your schedule than you can complete in a day can lead to guilt and shame, which can further impact your ability to function. Giving yourself grace to have down time will help you to feel your best and be more present for the things you need to do. This process involves noticing patterns of when you are more productive or need more rest, understanding what supports you can put in place to help you meet your needs, and accepting that productivity doesn’t look the same every day.
Use rewards to encourage yourself.
ADHD brains thrive on challenges and excitement and respond really well to praise and rewards. Unfortunately, parenting is often a thankless job and the markers for success are hard to see. Having rewards for even the simplest tasks can help you to notice what is going well and helps build motivation as you celebrate what you’ve accomplished.
Seek support from an ADHD-affirming therapist.
Therapy can help you develop systems that work for you and the way you function best. While there are some common traits of ADHD, the way it shows up for each person can vary. It’s easy to be tempted to try a new productivity app or buy new storage bins, but without understanding your unique brain it can be hard to find what actually works and what you can stick with long-term.
ADHD therapy can help you understand your brain and patterns of thoughts and behaviors so you can be better prepared to work around obstacles that come up in your life.
Some strategies are about developing organizational systems in your home to help minimize distractions, while others address thoughts and feelings that lead you to feeling overwhelmed or stuck. Therapy can also help you to define what success in parenting looks like and feels like to you so you can move forward in confidence even when things seem chaotic.
Start ADHD Therapy in Atlanta, GA
At Informed Therapy Group, our ADHD-affirming therapists understand that the issues you are facing are not personal deficits but challenges that come from living in a world that is set up for neurotypical brains. Therapy for parents with ADHD can help you increase self-awareness and self-acceptance while empowering you to lean into your strengths. If you’re a parent who is ready to get support for ADHD, you can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
- Reach out through our contact page, call (404) 444-8974 or email info@informedtherapy.com to get started.
- Meet with a caring therapist
- Start finding the support you deserve!
Other Services Offered with Informed Therapy Group
At Informed Therapy Group, we understand that mental health is multifaceted. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, depression, stress, or grief, our compassionate therapists are here to help. In addition to ADHD therapy, we offer postpartum therapy, therapy for stress management, anxiety, and grief and loss. We also specialize in couples therapy, therapy for depression, pregnancy counseling, and neurodivergent-affirming therapy. To learn more about how we can support your mental health journey, explore our About Us page, read our FAQs, or visit our blog for more insights.
About the Author
Melissa Light, LPC, NCC, PMH-C, is a licensed professional counselor and nationally certified clinician with over a decade of experience supporting individuals in their emotional growth. Specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Melissa offers a compassionate, evidence-based approach that creates a space for clients to connect with themselves and feel more present in their lives as they navigate transitions, emotions, and personal growth. Her specialty areas include Perinatal Mental Health and autistic or ADHD adults. Known for creating a warm, welcoming space, Melissa empowers clients to explore their stories at their own pace. Outside of her practice, she enjoys the chaos and joy of family life with her husband, two children, and labradoodle, Fozzie. She can often be found hiking, baking, or painting with watercolors— embracing creativity and the beauty of imperfection.
