When Overwhelm Feels Like Failure: An Atlanta Therapist’s Look at ADHD in the Postpartum Period

Motherhood can feel like the impossible task of juggling a dozen plates in the air.

What if you’ve already spent your whole life juggling plates, and those plates have suddenly gotten heavier? For people with ADHD (whether diagnosed or not), this is often what it feels like when they become a new parent or are adding another baby to the family. The symptoms of ADHD can become much more noticeable in pregnancy and postpartum for reasons such as hormonal changes and increased responsibilities, among others. 

Systems, strategies, and supports that have been in place may no longer work for the new family dynamic. The many changes that happen after having a baby are an adjustment for everyone, but for moms with ADHD, the experience can lead to guilt, shame, and self-blame. As a postpartum therapist who works with ADHD parents, I often hear a mom say “I feel like a failure.” From my therapist chair, what I see is a mom who is overwhelmed with handling a lot of heavy things at once. If you feel like this, read on to find out what may be going on and what you can do about it.

How ADHD Can Lead to Overwhelm: 

Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD):

RSD is a frequently misunderstood and overlooked experience that is common with ADHD. We tend to think of “rejection” as an incident, such as being turned down for a date or finding out you didn’t get a job you applied for. For new moms, some situations can include issues with breastfeeding, their baby is not sleeping well at night, or their baby is not easily consoled. While those experiences can lead to RSD, at its core, RSD is feeling or perceiving that you are not meeting your own or someone else’s standards. This is a longer-lasting, less visible situation, and the “cause” is not always obvious to the person experiencing RSD. For a new mom, RSD can be the general sense that the postpartum period is not what she envisioned or feeling that she isn’t the parent she would like to be.

Emotion Regulation Challenges:

People with ADHD often experience emotions more intensely, and strong emotions can be harder to cope with and manage. The rapidly changing hormone levels postpartum, a shift in family dynamics, disrupted sleep, and adjustment to a new identity as a mom or mom of multiple kids all contribute to stronger feelings or feelings that seem to change many times throughout the day. On top of the exhaustion of managing tough feelings, a lot of moms feel guilty for expressing their emotions or letting their children see them upset.

Attention & Focus Challenges:

ADHD is not a lack of attention and focus, but difficulty in controlling attention (like directing your attention where you want it to be). ADHD brains make it hard to tune out distractions, both externally (your surroundings) and internally (your thoughts). This makes prioritizing and responding to tasks difficult. For moms with newborn babies, this can quickly add up to overwhelm.

How Therapy Can Help With ADHD in the Postpartum Period

Identify challenges:

Therapy can help you talk through the areas of your life you’d like to address. Labeling or naming areas of struggle with a supportive therapist helps to release feelings of shame or guilt as you begin to see that your challenges are not a sign of personal failure.

Develop strategies.

There are many tips and tricks you can easily search online for, but until you understand how your brain works, you may not find strategies that work for you. By addressing the root cause of pain points, you can create systems to make daily tasks run more efficiently. Therapy can also help you create a plan for managing sensory input so you can more easily prevent getting overwhelmed. 

Strengthen emotion regulation skills.

Emotion regulation skills can support you in experiencing your feelings without letting them overwhelm or control you. Emotions are tools meant to protect and guide you, and managing them means learning to use them in ways that enhance your life. Therapy can help you address your feelings to improve not only your mood but also your relationships and how you experience life.

Gain a greater understanding of yourself.

A knowledgeable ADHD therapist can provide information about ADHD brains and can guide you in understanding your unique strengths and abilities. While there are common symptoms that people with ADHD share, every person with ADHD is unique and will experience the world in different ways. Understanding how you function best is an empowering step towards caring for yourself and enjoying your life.

Improve self-acceptance.

While routines, strategies, and skills will help you to tackle daily tasks, giving yourself grace on the hard days is so important. You’re human, so there will be days when your best efforts fall short or your most well-planned routines fall apart. Self-acceptance allows you to separate yourself from your shortcomings. Everyone fails, but failure is an experience- NOT an identity!

Ready to Start ADHD Therapy in Atlanta, GA

At Informed Therapy Group, we understand that living and parenting with ADHD has unique challenges, but it can also contribute to a vibrant, joyful family life. We have knowledgeable therapists who can help you address multiple sources of overwhelm while helping you to overcome guilt and shame so you can start feeling like the parent you want to be. Connect with a therapist who is experienced at helping moms with ADHD by following these simple steps:

• Request an appointment through our contact page, call(404) 444-8974, or email admin@informedtherapy.com.
• Meet with an experienced ADHD therapist in Atlanta, GA.
• Start overcoming overwhelm and connect with your child!

Other Services Informed Therapy Group Offers in Georgia

Our compassionate therapists at Informed Therapy Group take a multifaceted approach to mental health. In addition to neurodivergent therapy in Atlanta, GA, we offer anxiety therapy, depression therapy, grief and loss counseling, and therapy for stress management. We also specialize in couples counseling, pregnancy counseling, and postpartum therapy. Explore our About Us page, visit our blog, or read our FAQs to learn more about how we can help you. When you’re ready to reach out, we encourage you to call (404) 444-8974 or email us at admin@informedtherapy.com.

About the Author

Melissa Light, LPC, NCC, PMH-C, is a licensed professional counselor and nationally certified clinician with over a decade of experience supporting individuals in their emotional growth. Specializing in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Melissa offers a compassionate, evidence-based approach that creates a space for clients to connect with themselves and feel more present in their lives as they navigate transitions, emotions, and personal growth. Her specialty areas include Perinatal Mental Health and autistic or ADHD adults. Known for creating a warm, welcoming space, Melissa empowers clients to explore their stories at their own pace. Outside of her practice, she enjoys the chaos and joy of family life with her husband, two children, and labradoodle, Fozzie. She can often be found hiking, baking, or painting with watercolors— embracing creativity and the beauty of imperfection.